I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
