We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
