YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
