I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize