I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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