You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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