I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
