i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
As shirtless as possible
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
