we have officially lost it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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