Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he shaved USA in his pubs
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize