Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
