Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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