Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
