first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Jerry, you need to find god
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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