i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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