I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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