Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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