yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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