I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
