we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
