I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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