yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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