i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
