My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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