Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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