We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize