What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
