Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
