There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We are all done wearing pants today
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
