i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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