Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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