please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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