Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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