She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
