so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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