Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
