Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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