no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
