You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize