i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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