you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
