i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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