I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
