Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
