went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
