Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I supernannyed him into submission
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
