We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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