dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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