i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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