I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
