That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
