Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
