my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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