I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
