My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
