Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
love makes seman taste better
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
