what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
