sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
