so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
birth control should be required to get into college
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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